Corey Hirsch won an Olympic medal, drank from the Stanley Cup and then drove his car at 140 towards a cliff, all in the same year.
In what many would consider the peak of a hockey player’s career, he was in the depths of anguish. The powerful forces in his head wouldn’t let him enjoy the successes, or even the next minute. He was 22 years old. He didn’t want to die, but he felt he had to do something to silence the dark screams constantly in his head.
He hit the brakes before going over the edge of that cliff. And eventually he disclosed his secret to the trainer of the Vancouver Canucks, the team he was flailing to stay a part of. That trainer got him to a therapist. He had been to therapy before, but got no meaningful help. But this time, after a full day of assessment, he heard five important words that changed the course of his life.
“You have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.”
Hirsch is not an NHL goalie anymore, but he went on to a long, colourful career at a mumber of professional levels, became a well regarded coach, enjoyed an acclaimed additional careeer as a hockey broadcaster, and most importantly has a fulfilling family life - all thanks to those five words that uncovered the torment he had been enduring from within his own brain structure.
Since releasing his book The Save Of My Life, Hirsch has embarked on a new career, and it is devoted to talking far and wide about mental health - the medical reasons behind so many people’s secret, silent conditions. This week, he was in Burns Lake discussing it with students at Lakes District Secondary School, and others.
“Our youth, they need us. They need us to help them,” Hirsch told Black Press in an eclusive interview. He said there has been a sea-change in how illness of the uppermost parts of our body are now regarded, but it is still only a tiptoe removed from his generation of apathy, misinformation, even hostility towards the mechanics of the body’s most critical organ.
“We weren’t looking for signs. We weren’t educated on it,” he said, looking back. “Here’s the thing: part of the reason I do what I do is, I have a chip on my shoulder. Why was I not educated on any of this stuff in high school? Why? The information is so simple. I almost ended up dead because the information was withheld from me because of a stigma.
“We’re still like that,” he warned. “Some schools are better than others but, talking about suicide doesn’t create more suicide. It’s actually been proven to put a dent in the numbers, right. And talking about mental health, and things to look for, it’s embarassing and tragic that we still don’t give our kids the information they need.”
So he’s doing it. He’s not a doctor, he’s not a neuroscientist, but he is someone who has lived through the illness - a nasty case of it - and the stigma - a nasty case of it. He once worried that discussing the powerful thoughts he was having would cost him his career, and the harsh reality of that all-to-recent time is, he might have been right. The message about mental health has to get through to those who don’t suffer from one of those illnesses as much as to those who have something to work through. But he is used to bright spotlights and intense pressure. He thrived on it. He still does, in this new arena.
“It’s incredible. What I do now is way better than any other win I ever got playing hockey, or any game I ever played,” which is saying something considering he took Canada into a scoreless shootout in the Lillehammer Olympics. He was between the pipes for Canada to earn the bronze medal at the World Hockey Championships in 1995. As a coach, he was responsible for Team Canada’s goalies at the World Junior Championships and won gold in 2007 and ‘08. He was awarded the top goaltender award in all of the CHL in 1992, the same year he was selected as the top goaltender in the Memorial Cup tournament as he backstopped the Kamloops Blazers to that vaunted title. He played more than 100 NHL games, and more than 300 in the I/AHL.
“When someone sends me a message saying that they’re going to get help, or they’re looking for a better life, and I’ve helped them with that, that’s the greatest gift,” he said. “It took me until I was 45 to realize the meaning of life is helping others, but it is so rewarding when you see someone’s that’s gotten self-confidence, gotten better.”
His presentation is designed to be accessible for a teenager, an elder, and everyone in between. Yes, youth have to know that they are not crazy, when they struggle with their mental conditioning, but Hirsch still worries about all the people his age, suffering mightily with their minds and their now mistaken belief that they have bear the weight alone. Career performance can be enhanced, family life can be bettered, just enjoying your day can be a reality, and in many cases survival itself hangs in the balance. Just ask for help, he said. Just ask for help. Even if you don’t really have words for the problem, or a vision of what help might look like. Work that out with discussion, he said.
“My generation, that middle-aged man between 35 and 55, our suicide rates are off the charts. And that’s because we were told to suck it up, don’t talk to anybody, suffer in silence, and if you didn’t you were shamed into not being perfect. Now I think we’re at the point of cut the crap, right?, we all have stuff. Go get he help you need. There’s no reason to suffer in silence. We’re beyond that, as a society, I hope. Go get the help.”
If you ask, and the help doesn’t come quickly enough, or in the correct form for you, then keep at it, Hirsch said. One of the soft spots in the mental health system is sufferers still needing to push for their own wellness. But push, and keep pushing, he said, because your health is worth it to so many people, not the least of which is you.
Places to start are your family doctor, a walk-in clinic, a counsellor chosen out of the phone book, even just a friend who can talk it out with you. There is a free phone number as well. Anyone in northern B.C. can call 1-888-562-1214 and just start talking. That’s what the people at the other end of the line are there for: you, when you’re having struggles with thoughts, emotions, impulses, voices, all the contents of the mind. Youth have a dedicated phone service at 1-888-564-8336.
Corey Hirsch has a book that has some understanding between the pages, just like he had power between the pipes.
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